Roads to Family by Rachel HS Ginocchio MPH

Author:Rachel HS Ginocchio, MPH [Ginocchio, Rachel HS]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Middle Grade, Middle Grades, Nonfiction, Family, Assisted Reproduction, Alternative Family, Family Structures, Parenthood, Sexuality, Gender, LGBTQIA+, Nontraditional Family, Reproduction, Sexual Reproduction, Adoption, Child Adoption, Adoption Agency, Fertility, Pregnancy, Infertility, IVF, In Vitro Fertilization, ICSI, Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection, Surrogacy, Gestational Surrogacy, Genetic Surrogacy, Surrogates, Surrogacy Agency, Gestational Carrier, Sperm Donation, Sperm Donor, Cryobank, Sperm Bank, Sperm, Uterus, Egg Bank, Embryo Bank, Egg Adoption, Embryo Adoption, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, Birth, Insemination, IUI, ICI, Fertility Clinic, Fertility Awareness Method, Ovulation, Ovaries, DNA, Ovulation-Menstruation Cycle, Gestation, Fetus, Embryologist, Genetic Testing, Donor Agreement, Donor Profile, Donor-Concieved, Donor Siblings, Genetic Siblings, Unknown Donor, Known Donor, Identity Release Donor, Egg Retrieval, Open Adoption, Closed Adoption, Birth Parents, C-section, Cesarean Section, Communications Agreement, Fostering, Foster Care, Birth Certificate, Multiples, Twins, Birth Control, Ancestry
ISBN: 9781728485911
Publisher: Lerner Publishing Group
Published: 2023-01-02T00:00:00+00:00

A Gestational Surrogate’s Perspective

Emily gave birth to her daughter, Alexis, as a result of donor insemination. Emily’s amazing experience with assisted reproduction inspired her to become a gestational carrier. That way she could be pregnant (which she loved) and help other LGBTQIA+ people create families.

Since Emily didn’t know anyone looking for a gestational surrogate, she joined a website designed to help surrogates and intended parents find one another. She wrote a short blurb about herself, her family, her career, and why she wanted to be a gestational carrier. Her hope was to find someone she connected with. She wasn’t looking for a best friend or to have day-to-day involvement in anyone’s life, but she wanted it to feel like more than a business transaction. Emily knew that gestational surrogacy would connect the two families for the rest of their lives, and she hoped that she and the intended parents would become friends.

Through the website, she discovered a lesbian couple, Nancy and Hillary. Emily and her wife, Elaine, got to know Hillary and Nancy through emails, phone calls, and video chats. Emily also learned why Hillary and Nancy needed a gestational carrier. They had successfully created embryos with their eggs and a friend’s sperm, but they both had a medical condition that prevented them from safely carrying a pregnancy.

After about two weeks of communicating back and forth, they all felt as though they were a great fit for one another. They chose not to work with a surrogacy agency. Instead, they decided to do an independent surrogacy. Emily, Nancy, and Hillary liked the idea of working directly with one another to coordinate all the surrogacy activities themselves.

Though they did everything perfectly, Emily’s first try at surrogacy ended with a negative pregnancy test and great disappointment. But Hillary and Nancy wanted to try again, and they were able to do so a few months later. This time, nine months after the embryo transfer, Emily gave birth to Charles. Emily recovered from her scheduled C-section in one room, and Nancy and Hillary got their own hospital room, right next door. Emily pumped breast milk for Hillary and Nancy to feed to Charles with a bottle. Extended family popped in and out of both rooms. They talked, laughed, and took turns holding baby Charles.

The two families remain close. They FaceTime, exchange holiday cards and birthday gifts, and have visited each other several times. Alexis (eleven) and Charles (nine) do not see each other as siblings—their relationship is more like that of cousins.

Emily felt so successful as a surrogate that toward the end of her pregnancy, Emily began her own gestational carrier agency. Over the next seven years, she helped hundreds of intended parents and carriers with their surrogacy process.

Emily has been asked a lot of questions about surrogacy. One that comes up repeatedly is, How can you give up your baby? Emily knows that when people ask this, they don’t usually intend to be insensitive, hurtful, or judgmental. Often they are just curious. So whenever Emily answers, she always tries to do it in a way that’s educational.

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